Things I’m Expected To Do for Straight People in Return for Their Not Hating Me: An Angry List

  • Answer questions about how I fuck.
  • Be “tolerant” of all their dipshit opinons, including but not limited to: acceptance of pedophilia, acceptance of incest, and dismantling of the institution of marriage entirely because that would be better than my wanting a piece.
  • Stop looking so gay.
  • Never ever mention gay rights or call them out on homophobia.
  • Cosign every time they want to make fun of gays, use the word “gay” derogatorily, or say “faggot.”
  • Offer praise, admiration, and endless compliments whenever they want to discuss how hard it is to be an ally.
  • Answer and apologize for their perceived missteps of “the community” because apparently we all act in concert.
  • Nod and smile when they tell me how disgusting they imagine it would be to be gay, or how hot it would be to watch.
  • Never ever mention that I’m gay.
  • Laugh at their homophobic jokes.
  • Give them warm hugs and heartfelt thanks when they tell me they are a member of my “family” because they “support” me.  Sorry, who the fuck are you?
  • And most of all, never ever ever imply that my life might sometimes be difficult because I am gay.  Such things are only for them to discuss when they tearfully recount tales of ally-hood.

2 months ago
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    I came across this blog after reading about Russia banning “gay” and those idiots who call themselves the...
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    Really not too happy with straight people these days. Gay white dudes can also fuck off for all I care.
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    —- Not my personal list but amen!
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    Answer questions about how I fuck. Be “tolerant” of all their dipshit opinons, including but not limited to: acceptance...